I've reached a very important moment.

It's been a lifelong struggle.

The relationship waxes and wanes and I've been in denial so long, I'm not even sure how my emotions will handle this.

Sometimes we're good or ok or at least tolerable.

Really though, I'm aching, inside, low and deep, sometimes even painfully bloody and I can't let myself allow the relationship to turn violent anymore. Even wet wipes aren't enough help on those days.

And lately, this morning in particular, the knowing has become undeniable.

The John told me, in his supportive, inclusive and comforting way, sometimes cold but always available in times of need... this morning, and with a whoosh of water, I knew...

Cheese, is not my friend.

It's not even a close cousin, or a friendly neighbor to me anymore.

Despite my persistent efforts to build a balanced, reasonably sized portion approach to inclusion of dairy in my diet, the time has come to end this relationship.

I will always love you, Cheese, but I love regular, unstrained and consistent sized bowel movements more than you.

You may not notice, Cheese, you may never even be aware of the effect you have on me but just know I must love you from a distance now. Boundaries are necessary.

Don't try to tempt me back, Cheese, you know what that does to me.

Just know, I will forever want you..and will never forget you.

And to my loved ones, don't worry for me, I can bring my own food, and eat it in the corner, quietly and without comment, where no one can see, to avoid creating any feelings of obligation or guilt on your part to provide a Cheese substitute. It doesn't exist. Just let me be and all will be well.

You're ever willing companion,

Beth's backside..